Let’s Dance: Dimensional Shifts in Ending Relationships

Have you noticed lately an acceleration in the challenging nature of relationships? Perhaps friends have suddenly fallen away, or there are break ups of long-term marriages or romantic relationships that are completely unexpected. One day you are having a blast, madly in love or at least very content in the paces of being “besties.” And then, in what seems like the next minute all bets are off! Maybe your adult children are not speaking to you. Maybe you are feeling particularly lonely and questioning “why can’t I connect with people”? We all are feeling as if so many around us are vibrating at different or at “lesser” levels. And in fact they probably are. But to me this assessment of the vibrational or dimensional divide is rife with spiritual elitism and spiritual ego if it leads to unkindness and lack of engagement. Everyone, everywhere in the cosmos, humans and all beings are evolving consciousness, even the ones you ultimately separate from no matter the reason. Rest assured, there was growth in every relationship we have ever had because we are all teachers to one another. So I need to ask, what is the higher vibrational expression of a relationship ending? And do we really dance between lower and higher dimensions because we are human, and we cannot avoid the sometimes very visceral nature of relationships coming to an end?

While practicing divorce and family law, I witnessed the hearts of those who desperately wanted to get out of relationships, as well as the hearts of those stunned by the shock of an unanticipated break up. To be sure it was not unanticipated at a soul level. It was a rare moment however, when both hearts were aligned with the truth of a natural end to one aspect of a relationship which would inevitably shift to another momentum of expression in time and space. The choice between being friend or foe or simply done in this lifetime occurs at a deeper level of awareness than we realize.

I divorced twice in this incarnation. Once in my mid 20’s and once in my late 30’s. Each time I was the one who chose to break it off and both times as I look back I was emboldened and did not fully consider the other person’s pain. I acted on the fact that I had changed, and I suddenly “knew” that I was in the wrong time and space with the wrong person for the wrong reason and I had to act upon it, or I would surely die. Now I see – there was nothing wrong or out of place about either marriage. I have experienced the implosion of friendships over the past 10 years that seemed highly improbable and yet the “break ups” had to happen because the space and time shared had an expiration date. I feel that these manifestations of our very organic experiences come to their natural vibrational end at exactly the right time in our lives. That said, it still hurts, but we can remain in the highest possible frequency that serves the light of our being honoring those who reflect the best and the worst aspects of us. After all, they are us.

Friendships are no less relevant mirrors than our romantic relationships. The symptoms of a close friendship nearing its end were signs that I explored deeply in hindsight, of course. Sometimes I felt stressed to the point of nausea about not meeting others expectations before the relationship went sideways. In a friendship and business partnership that blew up during a spiritual/yoga retreat we hosted, I experienced physical discomfort when dealing with my partner’s unilateral business decisions that far exceeded what I had initially agreed to. Although we spoke loving words to one another upon parting for the last time in the blissful beaches of Tulum, we couldn’t recover the friendship after the business ended despite our divine knowing that we were soul sisters crossing paths on the ascension journey. The anxiety of that ending in particular lasted for many months. Sometimes I felt suddenly out of sorts with friends when I entered into a romantic relationship while they remained single, also leading to surprising endings. My mother shared that when she was widowed, longtime friends who were couples sadly pulled away from her eventually disappearing from her life. Recently, a close friend of mine after a 15-year relationship of mutual respect that began at work, felt the need to suddenly “save my soul” and dropped a sealed letter on my kitchen counter testifying to her religious beliefs and her concern for me. The action created a discernable rift and although we are still communicating a little bit, (and I know her actions were from love and concern), the energy field of that relationship palpably shifted. Shift happens. But relationship break ups of all manner and form have expansive qualities that we can perceive as gifts in the light of our growth to higher dimensional expression of our humanity.

Despite all of my own relationship fallouts the love and appreciation I have for the beautiful souls that have come into and departed from my life remains. We can choose to feel that truth within our heart centered awareness (that we have spent so much time cultivating), during and in the aftermath of any unpleasant relationship situation right away. The everlasting certainty of a higher dimensional outcome that serves the highest and best good for all concerned is the neutrality we aspire to but is not always easy to conjure. It is that neutrality, however, that is absolutely required in an ascending human aspiring toward the highest dimensional consciousness that serves love.

Unconditional Love and animosity can coexist – until they don’t because indeed they cannot if we are expressing from a 5th dimensional way of being in our behavior, our expressed wisdom, our thoughts and compassionate insight for the pain and suffering of others, as well as our own pain and suffering.

In installment #2 regarding relationships I will discuss vibrational restoration after the shock and channel some of the spiritual tools that can be helpful.

May you be Blessed beyond Measure…

With Eternal Love,

Aileta Grace